again......breastfeeding.........

Oh breastfeeding…….such a blessing….such a gift……
So supply is not the issue I have here. I have plenty of milk for him. When I pump I get 6-9 oz.
FOOD ALLERGIES!!!…Zealand is allergic to something and we cannot figure out what it is……..I have been on the most extreme diet eliminating everything I can to see if its nuts? Milk protein? Soy? Anyway, that didn’t seem to help.
Then he wakes up one day and decides he hates to eat….FOR FIVE DAYS I COULD NOT GET THIS LITTLE CUTIE TO NURSE. I tried giving him pumped milk in a bottle…wouldn’t take a bottle. Finally we had to cup feed and he hated that too.
That lasted from Tuesday until Sunday. Finally Sunday at about noon he ate. A little bit. This kid usually eats every 1 ½ hours to 2 hours for 15 minutes to an hour. So I get him to nurse on Sunday in a very sneaky way. I swaddle him give him his pacifier lay him on the bed lay down beside him , wait until his eyes are shut then take his pacifier out and put him up to me and he eats but only for about 5 minutes. And since then I can’t get him to eat for longer than 5 minutes. And he doesn’t know if he really wants to eat or not. He latches and unlatches, latches and unlatches and just keeps doing this over and over which makes it hard for me to have my let down. So I am feeding him every half hour for five minutes at a time and he is screaming all the other time. I am so sad for him because he seems like he is in pain.
Finally, I went to a lactation consultant yesterday to see if she could help.
She said to try spoon feeding him breast milk and showed me a couple of the craziest nursing positions I have ever seen. I tried them and he just looks at me like I am out of my mind. So we tried spoon feeding and he didn’t like it so much but like it better then a bottle. So we will try TRY again. The lactation consultant also said I have overactive letdown so to feed him lying down as much as possible.
Can you just picture me in the mother’s room at church lying down on the floor? Awesome.
I usually feed him lying down anyway but he needs to be able to like it in the normal cradle hold too for when we leave the house, if we are ever going to have some normality in our lives.

I don’t mind doing any of this. I just want him to be happy and pain free. If he is happy then there is to no end what I will do! But nothing lately seems to help him. Nothing. So he cries, I cry, we just lay there and cry.

I know this will not last forever. I know soon enough it will all be over.
But when you’re dealing with something like this it feels like an eternity that you are going through it. Thank goodness for my husband he helps me from going crazy. I’m not the best at managing my stress and anxiety especially when it comes to my BABE!

Anyway. Thank you for those who commented on my last post. I don’t know what it is about knowing that someone else is going through what you are that makes you feel a little bit better. So thank you! I appreciate it so much

Breastfeeding....

Is the hardest thing I have ever done!


If anyone else feels the same way....and I'm not the only Mom in the universe that has such problems nursing...then I will make another post of how hard it truly is for me right now. But i wonder? maybe I am the only one???

Tyler the great!

This is a conversation I had with my 7 year old nephew Tyler:

Tyler was eating an ice cream bar that looked mighty delicious.

Me: "Tyler, where did you get that ice cream bar?"
Tyler: "In the freezer"
Me: "mmmmmmmm I better get me one"
Tyler: " I think you better not"
Me: "why not?"
Tyler: " Cuz it looks like you still have a baby in there" (points to my stomach)
Me: "WHAT???!!!"
Tyler: "yeah, your belly! its round. round like a baby's head"


guess its time to up my work outs a little bit or get Tyler's eyes checked.

oh delish!

Graham crackers+rice pudding

So I'm not sure why I have never thought of this before.. These are two of my favorite treats and together they are the best TREAT ever. I have ate it every day since discovering its amazingness. hAPPY DIPPING!

The Dreaded Day

So today I went back to work. I have been dreading this day every second since I held my Zealand for the first time. Not being able to imagine ever leaving him for one moment. I am only working part time four hours a day and he is being left in the very capable hands of my mother-in-law but I still miss him and still feel terrible about it. I think he hates me for leaving him. I'm afraid he is going to do/learn new things those four hours away. But it has to be done. So I drive to work nearly in tears look at several pictures of him while at work and count down the minutes until I can rush out the door and rush home to my babe. And today when I was especially antsy at work and didn't think I could stand it a minute longer my very talented, caring, sweet sister-n-law
emailed me some pictures she had taken of Zealand once while we were making a visit half naked (Zealand not me) and once while she was watching him. I looked at the pictures and about burst into tears. It made my day! I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as me! ( For other awesome photos taken by M
visit here)