Mommy Land

I am a Mom….
Want to know how I know?? (Besides the obvious)

When I come home and change my clothes I no longer opt for the pair of jeans that my butt looks cutest in…its sweats all the way! The more baggy and worn out the better ( I thought this would change after I wasn’t pregnant and huge ...NOPE) !

My showers have been deducted from 20 min to 5 minutes (sometimes I mix the shampoo and conditioner to shave off another minute or two)

I am no longer packing around a purse in the latest seasonal color and shape but a diaper bag bursting at the seams for even a 2 hour outing.

I speak baby. When I am having a conversation with adults I find myself saying things like “that’s silly” or “that’s naughty” or rhyming all of my words.

I don’t even flinch at poopies and pukies…no matter the color, smell, or consistency.

I now have an assistant chef in the kitchen…I carry an extra 20lbs on my back while cooking.

I know songs like “baby beluga” and “Six little Ducks” by heart (I also know all the hand gestures that go along with the song)

My shirt constantly seems to be wet in one spot or another

Even when I don’t have a baby in my arms I seem to be swaying back and forth or when I’m shopping w/out baby I’m pushing the cart back and forth in a swaying motion.

My favorite’s tool bar on my browser window once consisted of Forever 21, urban outfitters, but now has links to The Children’s Place, Baby steals, etc.

When I walk into Target I walk straight past the women’s clothing to the baby clothing.

Every time I go to the store even if it is just for milk I find myself browsing the baby isle, maybe Zealand wants to try a new baby food, maybe Apple, Banana pear cinnamon oatmeal? Maybe he needs this or that. He really doesn’t need one more thing but I can’t resist.

I have two new wrinkles around my eye that just popped up in the last six months that I contribute to a lack of sleep.

Goodbye sexy bras…hello awkward nursing flappy thingy’s

Goodbye cute jewelry (for fear of having a hole ripped in my ear or beads of a bracelet all over the floor)

Every little new thing that Zealand does I act as if he is the first child in the universe to do it.

I know to you mothers out there that still keep your hotness and juggle five kids at the same time I’m just a rookie but it’s a developing talent. Maybe one day I will be able to nurse a baby, change a toddler’s diaper, fix dinner and put on my make up all at the same time.